Dear Parent, this year we will be outsourcing our mathematics teaching to Bright Young Things Limited…

Dame Ruby de Snoopy
CEO for life
Neolibs ‘R’ Us Multiacademy Trust

Dear Parent

This year we have decided to outsource our maths teaching to Bright Young Things Limited. Mr Jones, who has given tireless service as head of mathematics for the last 35 years will be retiring. We thank him for his service. We wish him well with his recovery from his recent mental illness. The rest of the maths department have also taken positions elsewhere.

As you know we have been looking to improve the mathematical outcomes of students who leave Neolibs. It is important to us that they become functioning economic units who are equipped to contribute to our growing economy, brought about through the tough decisions made by the current government. We all know we have to live within our means.

We are very excited about Bright Young Things taking over, they are a new company, with young attractive and very enthusiastic graduates, they are supported by Hedgebank, a reputable city institution and PremierPedagogy the visionary teacher training organisation. We have awarded Bright Young Things a three-year contract. They have convinced us that they will deliver a cost-effective forward-thinking curriculum based on the Book of Intervention.

We will be consulting on this with parents later in the term.

Yours sincerely

Ruby

The Book of Intervention

The last time I went to a general practitioner, I had a minor ailment. I described my symptoms, he reached for a large ocatavo soft-bound book. He thumbed through it, selected a page, ran his finger down the first column, then the second, he flipped a page or two until he was satisfied that he had matched my symptoms to a pharmaceutical. He wrote me a prescription and I went home via the chemists.

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I imagined I was a teacher. I was sat with my class of year 10s. They found maths difficult, most had not been successful in maths through school. They were adding fractions. One student was having difficulty adding fractions. I didn’t know what to do. But I went into my teacher’s desk and I whipped out my copy of the Book of Intervention. I thumbed through until I found the section on low-attaining year 10 fractions. I ran my fingers down the two-column page. I flipped over the page, ran my finger down the next page, then the next. I soon found a recommended intervention. I just knew it would work because all interventions in the Book of Intervention had been scientifically tested.

See https://theconversation.com/phonics-is-not-a-fix-all-drug-that-will-get-all-children-reading-28868